“Thank God, I got divorced!” may
seem to be the wrong thing to
say initially but, for most
people, that very statement
becomes true after the initial
grief and loss have been
processed and integrated. We
want so much to cling to what we
have known! The truth is,
leaving a marriage that has gone
stale, been non-fulfilling, or
has simply “died” can be a real
blessing. Divorce is not the end
of your life; it is often a
beginning – the passageway
towards a life more suited to
whom you have become.
When you complete a committed
relationship or marriage, you
are given the chance to take
stock of your life and to
reclaim yourself in a new way.
Now you can “dust off” and
re-evaluate the shelved desires
and dreams you have tucked away.
Through this powerful process
you are also able to see where
you may have fallen prey to
co-dependency and
irresponsibility.
You become aware of the beliefs
you once held, and see if they
still seem to be true.
Re-examining the friendships
that you have allowed to wane
suddenly seems like important
work. You also reclaim the
significant roles you have
numbed, such as the roles of
mom, dad, daughter, son, sister
or brother. In short, you are
cracked open, revealing both
your shadow and your light, your
strengths and your fears, and
you stand face to face with the
terror of not knowing what your
future will hold now. And you
realize that it may be better
than you ever dreamed possible!
In addition to facing yourself
honestly, you face an awesome
opportunity to begin “a-New” and
to lead an increasingly powerful
life.
Recently I was invited to be a
contributing author for a new
book series entitled “Thank God
I . . .” The series, and the
many short-story titles such as
mine (“Thank God I . . . Got
Divorced”), is aimed at
reminding us that all of our
experiences are actually “gifts”
if we can view them through a
new, more truthful perspective. In short, we see and experience
things very differently if we
see that each experience has
both positives and negatives in
it.
As a divorce
specialist and a pioneer of the
New Divorce Paradigm,™ I know
first-hand that the initial
reaction to the prospect of
divorce is that it is unnerving,
to say the least. But after we
begin to look with both eyes
wide open, we soon see that with
every perceived loss there is a
gain, and with every ending
there is a new beginning, too!
Now in my fourth divorce
experience I know one thing for
sure: divorce is not a measure
of a relationship’s failure but
rather a marker of a
relationship’s completion. In
addition, I recognize that
anyone who moves into and
through multiple relationships,
and even divorce, has a deep
desire to love – and to love
again.
Bravo to you if you can
say “I have been divorced more
than once”! It demonstrates that
you believe in love, and you
understand that as
heart-wrenching as divorce can
feel while you are within its
grasp, you also know that a new
and better you emerges on the
other side.
Personally I am committed to
eradicating the idea that
divorce automatically equals
failure, because after a decade
of working with divorcing people
I see so clearly that divorce
equals much more. Divorce
reveals courage, commitment,
inner strength and, more often
than not, the integrity to
listen to and heed your heart’s
whispers that announce: nothing
is wrong; the “dance” is just
done!
I believe that our relationships
have a reason and a season, and
sometimes the season is short. A
short season is not a bad one;
in fact, most of us can admit
that a beautiful short season is
better than a dreary long one!
If we think of living as a
school, then the state of the
planet is our classroom, and the
relationships we have entered
into are our curriculum. We
remain in school as long as it
offers us an education, and once
we have learned what we came to
learn – when the lesson has been
learned and integrated – we move
on. Usually we celebrate what we
have learned. So, go ahead.
Celebrate that which you have
learned and that which you are
learning by completing your
lesson. And prepare for an
ever-evolving, greater life!
About Moreah Ragusa
Moreah
Ragusa is one of North America’s most
innovative experts in the area of individual
and relationship transformation, uniquely
focused on the revealing of personal
brilliance. She is an author,
psychotherapist, registered family mediator,
and relationship counselor specializing in
divorce. Moreah is also a respected
corporate coach, popular speaker and seminar
leader.
As a highly skilled and dynamic media guest,
Moreah continues to be in international
demand for her expertise. Radio and
television programs come alive with her
get-real style and truth-illuminating
presence. With years of research, teaching
and counseling experience, Moreah is
naturally an expert speaker on topics such
as personal and professional life-purpose
coaching, marriage, divorce, blended
families, motivation, inspiration and, most
recently, human brilliance.
As an innovative and visionary leader,
Moreah is founder and president of the
Phoenix Coaching and Transformation
Corporation in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
This organization offers professional and
personal life-mastery strategies to reveal
each individual’s inherent wisdom,
prosperity, freedom and power. Moreah is
also founder of the Inspired Mentoring and
Leadership Program, where the curriculum is
set to guide students to awaken fully to
their soul purpose and authentic self.
Moreah is the author of four books on
personal and relationship transformation:
The New Marriage Paradigm: Inspiring the
transformation and evolution of committed
relationships; The New Divorce Paradigm:
Transitioning your relationship with
integrity; Rediscovering Your Authentic
Self: Applying “A Course in Miracles” to
everyday life; and Our Cosmic Dance: An
autobiography of courage, faith, and
spiritual triumph. Moreah’s most recent body
of work is entitled The Brilliance Code.
Having provided thousands of hours of
counseling to individuals worldwide, Moreah
is known to see through the existing
realities that are dysfunctional, and to
provide new truths that move people toward
living their highest potential. Moreah is
passionate about sharing her deep
understanding of the human spirit and is
committed to the unveiling of personal
brilliance.
